How do we protect young people online?
We are very aware that young people need to be educated on the dangers of the internet. This has become more prevalent and difficult as the online world develops.
Back in the internet olden days of the naughties we could tell our young people; don’t share any personal details, don’t meet up with anyone in real life and above all assume anyone in a chat room is a ‘dirty old man’ and that pretty much covered it.
Now the online world is very different - people regularly meet strangers from the internet; to go on dates, rally at protests, to join wild swimming groups. We have shifted our perceptions in the value of making genuine connections online and sometimes moving them to real life connections. There is a good argument for it actually being detrimental to us if we never connected with people online. We often purchase items by entering financial details, we make medical appointments, mortgage applications, sharing all our personal details online, and young people see this, know this. We can’t easily use the old blanket rule of ‘never share any details’ any more. But risk is still very prevalent, 33% of young people have experience a financial scam online according to the Digital Youth Index, according to a 2022 Guardian article 44% have been exposed to pornographic material, 15% have shared self generated nude images as well as being involved in negative behaviours themselves like trolling, revenge porn, 1 in 8 engaging on online harassment. So education has to become more complex, more nuanced; some information you can share but only in certain circumstances with certain people. How do we teach this?
Young people also are often (but not always) aware of the dangers of the internet. Teenagers know that someone can hide behind a profile, images can be easily altered, they know their reputations can be ruined with one provocative photo, personal details shared, lies told, doxing which shares personal details that make an individual vulnerable. They see this play out on social media, they likely know the reality of what can go wrong far more than my millennial self.
So while online education is always going to be important we also need to remember that education needs to also be emotional. Because while young people know the dangers, they want to trust in friends and potential connections, potential partners. The overwhelm and thrill of a first love means they will share everything with a partner never believing they will be betrayed. The online friend who is there for them to chat to every night is trusted, of course they will share their secrets. The person telling them they are beautiful, stunning and set to be a model, they desperately want this to be true and send the images. People are taken in, not always because they don’t know the dangers but because they want to believe they are loved, cared for, admired.
This education is harder, personal. We can see here how some young people become more vulnerable. Those who are not getting enough love, care, unconditional positive regard at home will place more value on receiving affection and therefore also being betrayed. Someone whose confidence is low or who recently received a knock back will be thrilled to hear praise. Someone without friends will crave connection. In these circumstances it is easier to ignore red flags because they don’t want to see them, it must be real.
All of us are susceptible here, in a vulnerable moment, so how to we teach it?
Rules need to be flexible depending on age and understanding. A younger person will need firmer rules about not sharing details, having limited access to certain platforms and regular check ins with parents and carers. As a professional it is good practice to check in with a young person’s understanding and interaction in online life. As they grow and develop this will shift, as they engage in different communities sharing small amounts of information is necessary, and privacy from parents and carers important. However rules about giving out financial details, personal details like addresses and images like nudes can still be reinforced.
Supporting continual conversation is key, recognising that people can be hurt online. It is important to make sure the language here is caring and supporting not shameful or judgemental, so that if they make a mistake or trust the wrong person they can ask for help. In schools, youth groups etc it is important to make clear who is a trusted adult and the reporting procedures which may be needed (especially safeguarding and child protection policies).
Offering education about emotional vulnerability. How emotional connections online especially ones that take place in moments of loneliness (like late at night) can feel very real and intense, this makes it hard to see and assess danger. It can be important to have other strategies to support and regulate low or extreme emotions, as well as healthy offline activities to engage in.
Help young people recognise signs of manipulation and coercion, withdrawal from real life connections, making decisions they wouldn’t have considered before. This can also be helpful for them in recognising and supporting unhealthy behaviours in their friends.
Peer pressure is just as valid online as it is offline and being drawn into negative behaviours can sometimes feel easier as there is not usually a person visually reacting in front of them. In the same way that road rage increases because we are removed from the person we are raging against, someone on the other side of a screen can seem dehumanised. Remind young people that words have power and cause real hurt.
Recognising the importance of setting boundaries and having open conversations about consent in all relationships, online or offline.
The digital world will continue to be important, so in educating our young people not just about privacy settings and digital footprints, but also about safe emotional online relationships and open conversation our young people can have a healthy safer online experience.