PARTY and Pain
Overwhelm after exams
A few shots down and a warm beer in my hand. The house party is pleasantly blurry at the edges, people moving to the beat, bouncing with freedom and escapism. Arms slung over shoulders, couples tucked into corners. Gossip is loudly whispered into ears, and squeals chorus into the night.
It’s joyous.
After weeks of revision, when everyone was frayed. Friends snapping at each other. A silent competition over who’s the most burnt out. Teachers looking more frazzled by the day, muttering about past papers.
Dry eyes. Broken sleep. Guilt for not revising, or for not revising right. Trying to memorise endless pages and regurgitate them in the exact way the mark scheme demands.
I am desperate to enjoy this, the countdown has been so long, the prize at the end, the mark of the beginning of summer, the mark of freedom.
So. Much. Fun.
The flashing LED lights make me wince.
So. Much. Fun.
The beat of the music reverberates through my chest.
So. Much. Fun.
Beads of sweat run down my back and into my underwear, and everything feels damp.
So. Much. Fun.
My toes are rubbing in my shoes, I can feel the blister forming.
So. Much. Fun.
Aaron is running his sweaty fingers down my bra strap. I don’t want to cause a fuss, but I also don’t want to lead him on.
So. Much. Fun.
Ellie’s giving me the evil eye. Did I do something? I try a smile. It’s not returned.
So. Much. Fun
My skin prickles.
My heart thuds harder.
My breathing quickens.
My head starts to pound.
I check the time. It’s still early.
Everyone’s bouncing. Squealing. Drinking. Laughing.
I’ve waited so long for this night.
So why do I want to cry?
Tears sting the corners of my eyes. I feel the urge to message my mum:
From the other side of town...
As parents, we may feel torn, wanting them to have the reward, have the best night ever, leave late, laughing, full of stories and memories.
But we also want to rescue them from the teen house party that isn’t going well, take them away from the substances, bad influences and overwhelm.
And maybe we’ve been there too.
Because overwhelm doesn’t only show up in the exam room or during stress.
It shows up in good times too, in the moments that are supposed to be celebrations. In the nights we’ve built up in our heads. In the spaces where we expect to feel good, and can’t understand why we don’t.
There’s grief in that.
For the young person, who feels like they’re missing out on what was promised.
And for the parent, who wanted the night to be perfect for them.
How can we help?
If you or your young person is prone to sensory or emotional overload, planning can make a huge difference. Consider:
🍃 Choosing comfortable clothing and footwear.
🍃 Using earplugs or sunglasses to reduce sensory input.
🍃 Pre-agreeing on a code word or text if they need to leave early (useful if peer pressure is close by).
🍃 Planning breaks (outside, bathroom, quiet room).
🍃 Managing alcohol and substance intake.
🍃 Perhaps, most importantly, spreading out the celebration, so one event doesn’t carry all the emotional weight. A party doesn’t have to be the only place where a milestone is marked. There are other ways to celebrate, and when there’s more than one chance to feel good, the pressure on this one night eases.
For some, a party is not even an option. In this case, creating alternatives is even more important, personalised celebrations that suit your needs!
🌿 Reflection: How do you manage energy and self-care in times of celebration?
🌿 If you’ve found something here that resonates…
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