A Diagnosis is Just an Excuse? Let’s Talk About That.
First off, let me say loud and clear: I don’t believe that “a diagnosis is just an excuse.” But it’s something I’ve heard a few times from clients, and I think it’s worth exploring the nuances. Because, as with most things in life, the reality is rarely black and white.
Absolutes like this can be great for winning arguments—they’re bold, confident, and leave no room for debate. But in practice? They don’t hold up. People are complex. It’s rare for a group of people to all act in the same way or for the same reasons, especially when it comes to something as personal as a diagnosis.
So, let’s explore this...
The Trouble with Labels
I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with diagnoses and labels. On the one hand, they can feel too rigid, grouping people together when we don’t fully understand the causes, triggers, or even the boundaries of certain conditions. Even the language we use around diagnoses can feel awkward or overly clinical.
On the other hand, labels open doors. They can give people access to support, understanding, and resources that might otherwise feel out of reach. They can lead to conversations instead of assumptions and help us find people who “get it.”
I’ve seen how a diagnosis can shift perspectives. Instead of seeing a fidgety student as “rude” or “impossible,” we start to see their needs differently. Maybe they need a standing desk, a fidget toy, or regular movement breaks. With those small adjustments, that same young adut can go from being seen as disruptive to fully engaged. The intention was never to be difficult—it’s just that their needs weren’t being met.
Diagnoses as Permission
For many people, a diagnosis is a kind of permission slip—not to lower expectations, but to change them. It’s permission to stop being so hard on yourself, to let go of the idea that you’re “lazy” or “broken,” and to explore strategies that work for you, in a proactive way!
Take sensory sensitivity, for example. It’s something I struggle with myself—flashing lights, loud sounds, or multiple noises at once can leave me stressed and exhausted. For years, I told myself I was just being weak. I tried to power through, but of course, that didn’t work.
It wasn’t until I acknowledged the issue (with the help of a diagnosis) that I found solutions that worked for me. Things like avoiding fluorescent lighting, wearing sunglasses indoors when needed, or turning down the music. These adjustments mean I function better both practically and emotionally.
That’s the power of a label—it gave me the self-compassion to stop fighting against myself and start working with what I need.
When Labels Are Misused
Now, let’s address the elephant in the room: Can a diagnosis sometimes be used as an excuse? Yes, of course. We’re all human, and I’d bet most of us have, at some point, exaggerated an illness or a crisis to get out of something we didn’t want to do. (I’ve definitely blamed a “migraine” to avoid a social situation.)
And yes, there will always be a small number of people who misuse a diagnosis to avoid effort or claim benefits they don’t need. But let’s keep that in perspective—it’s a very small minority. We can’t deny support to the many because of the few.
For the vast majority, a diagnosis isn’t an escape route; it’s a tool for self-understanding and support. It’s what allows someone to stop beating themselves up for struggling and start finding realistic ways to thrive.
So, what can we do with this understanding?
Challenge Absolutes
Next time you hear someone say, “a diagnosis is just an excuse,” or something similar, gently push back. Ask questions. Share stories (your own or others’) that show the potential value of labels.
Practice Compassion
Whether it’s toward yourself or others, try to approach labels and narratives with curiosity and understanding. Instead of jumping to conclusions, consider what needs might be behind someone’s behaviour.
Focus on Solutions
If you or someone you know is struggling with a label, shift the conversation from “what’s wrong” to “what could help.” Small adjustments can make a huge difference.
Stay Open to Growth
Our understanding of diagnoses and labels is always evolving, especially right now. Be open to learning from others’ experiences—and from your own.
Final Thoughts
Labels and diagnoses aren’t perfect, and they’re not one-size-fits-all. But for many people, they’re a lifeline—a way to understand themselves and access the support they need. Let’s use them as a way to build compassion and connection, rather than judgment or division.
And if you’re someone who struggles with a label, here’s my reminder to you: You’re human and unique, explore the language and your experience and find the framework and narrative that suits you.
