🍂 Big Decisions, Little Questions: October Reflections

Written By Helen Gifford

🍂 Manifesting

September has been heavy for me, not with chaos or trauma, just with the weight of a busy life. The reminder that the ‘normal’ can often be a lot.

In April’s newsletter, I shared a prompt about writing down your “perfect day.” Mine was about slowing the pace, having time to enjoy both offering therapy and writing without feeling rushed, and meeting loved ones without clock-watching. September clearly didn’t get the memo!

Still, because I wrote that vision back in April, it’s lingered in my mind. Not powerful enough to “manifest” the full picture, but enough to remind me not to overfill the gaps. I sat in silence in traffic, watching the trees begin to shimmer with orange and gold. I enjoyed breakfast without simultaneously doing my accounts. I paused as I opened the front door to take in the fresh air.

I didn’t exactly rock my world or reach my April dream, but I did keep it alive, and I believe it is also why I reach October with optimism rather than exhaustion!

💡 Try it yourself: If you haven’t yet, take a moment to write down your ideal day. (Writing it down really does help.) I don’t mean a lottery-winning, island-buying kind of day; instead, a within-reach working day. Focus on the feeling: Do you want to feel inspired, confident, productive, creative, wanted? How can you move towards that feeling?

👉 With big decisions come little questions

This time of year is full of new starts: GCSEs, A levels, college, university, training programmes, and new jobs. Education is prescriptive; we’re used to following the path. So it can be a shock to begin and find yourself uncomfortable.

The big questions hit hard:
“Is this right for me?”
“Do I like this work?”
“Is this my forever career?”
“Am I capable of this?”

This can be a scary time, with pressure to either stick or twist.

Instead, try some smaller, gentler questions:

  • Is this a common feeling for people in this role?

  • Does this level of stress usually continue?

  • Are there reasonable changes that might make this easier or more accessible?

  • Are there alternative roles or courses that might be more appropriate?

  • Can you take some time to research options and gather more knowledge before making a decision?

📌 For therapists reading: These smaller questions can be useful prompts with clients facing career or education-related anxiety. For non-therapists, they’re a self-reflection tool to bring the temperature down on decision-making.

📆 Upcoming Events

In case you missed it, my September event has been rescheduled to a November workshop for those exploring therapeutic work with young adults. We’ll explore the complex systems young people navigate and how we can best support them in therapeutic spaces.

🗓️ Join me online: Monday 10th November at 6pm GMT

📘 Writing Update

I’m back to editing my fiction story, and it’s been lovely to dive into Sophie’s world again. I’m almost ready to share it with my first test reader - eek!

In the meantime, I’ve continued writing weekly on Substack. Posts such as Modern Life, Micro-Stresses, and Neurodivergent Minds have drawn the most attention recently. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

📖 Substacks I’ve Loved Recently

Some standout reads from brilliant minds:

📚 Recent reads and listens

More fiction and keeping it light:

I’ve also revived an old habit: listening to The Daily Stoic, bite-sized reflections that help me pause and consider myself and the world. And yes, I’m still saving loads of podcasts I fully intend to listen to but probably never will.

💡 Ideas to Consider

Many people are in seasons of transition, starting courses or roles, watching children begin new life phases. In my latest post, The Cosy Cure, I explored how, even when we can’t control situations or the weather, we can offer ourselves small comforts even within difficult circumstances.

Usually, we can find small ways to make a difficult time more bearable. Whether this is for yourself, a family member, or a client, it’s about softening where possible.

📝 Therapist note: Be mindful of framing. This isn’t about minimising distress or offering a “quick fix”- it’s about supporting tolerance and self-compassion.

💭 Closing Thought

Back in April, I wrote about manifesting a “perfect day,” not through grand gestures but through ordinary choices: slowing the pace, noticing the season, letting small comforts matter. In therapy, too, it’s often these tiny shifts, the little questions, the daily rituals, that create the scaffolding for bigger change.

As October unfolds, perhaps the real invitation is this: what would one small step toward your “perfect day” look like right now?

I wonder: What big decisions are you facing now that could benefit from exploring the little questions?

It’s lovely to share a few quiet moments with you today.
Until next time,
💛🌿 Helen

If you’d like to support my work or are interested in learning more about working therapeutically with young people, you can:
📕 Buy my book ☕ Buy me a virtual toasted teacake or cuppa on Ko-fi 💛

Helen Gifford
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