So many times in a first session with a client, they apologise for wasting my time or prefix their feeling with the words:
“I know I’m being silly but…” or
“I know I should be over this…”
“Other people deal with worse than this”
Comparing can sometimes be useful and occasionally a kick in the ass to move forward is also helpful, but quite often first just feeling is important. There is always someone who is worse off, but that doesn’t invalidate your feelings, and not allowing yourself to feel or belittling those emotions, is a huge disservice. Emotions both good and bad are essential and healthy.
Without grief we can’t move forward, without sadness and anger there can’t be goodbyes and learning. To shelve an emotion just stores it up for a later day when we finally crack over something that appears to be small.
Give yourself time to feel, not wallow or fester but feel, without self criticism or guilt and then when you move forward it will be a positive step, a choice, healthy.
Remember to be kind to yourself, take time, accept support, use a listening ear.